


Norman Rockwell Had Nothing To Do With This Picture

by psychi



Series: One Life to Live (with Mutants) [3]
Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Family, Humor, M/M, Mpreg, Pathetically Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-16
Updated: 2011-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychi/pseuds/psychi





	Norman Rockwell Had Nothing To Do With This Picture

“I cannot be married to your mother!” Logan exclaimed in between panicked gasps. “You I could probably be married to, but I mean it Kurt. I JUST CANNOT BE MARRIED TO YOUR MOTHER!”

“Breathe into the bag,” Kurt ordered him.

Red-faced, Logan obeyed, slumping back onto the bed.

Ororo stood in the doorway with her copy of the wedding invitation. “It's not like she lives here,” she pointed out to Logan. “And with the baby on the way, she's going to be in your life one way or another.”

“That's not the point,” Kurt protested. “I think that if Logan and I were to get married, it should have something more to do with us than with her.”

“I'm not arguing,” she said in a soothing voice and then looked down at the invitation in question, feeling the velvety border. “But it is a nice invitation and it does take forever to get a wedding booking. I'm amazed Mystique did it this fast; she probably had to kill someone to do it."

Kurt stared blankly at her as Logan breathed in and out of the bag just a little harder.

“You know - if you two actually wanted to get married. Theoretically,” Ororo hedged. “I'm going to go to bed now. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Kurt replied. The door clicked shut behind her.

The shirt Logan wore had climbed upwards, revealing an inviting sliver of skin. Kurt stalked forward towards the end of the bed and leaned down to hover over him, bracing himself with his hands on the bed with Logan in between. He nipped that patch of skin lightly and then traced the barely perceptible red marks with his tongue. Logan made a whimpering sort of noise and Kurt looked up to see that the paper bag was gone and his breathing had sort of evened out. “Isn't that how we got into this mess, Elf?” Logan asked, voice rough.

“You can't get me pregnant twice,” Kurt told him. Logan growled and reached down to pull Kurt further onto the bed and up along his body, then kissed him soundly before pushing him back and away.

“Let's get that verified first,” Logan said, once again reaching for the paper bag and then walking swiftly out of the room.

“By whom?” Kurt called after him.

***

“Creed here.”

“I can't get him pregnant again while he's still pregnant, can I?”

Victor groaned. It sounded like he was in the middle of a rather noisy crowd and he was half shouting on the phone. “I resent the fact that I actually know what you're talking about. Hold on a second, I’ll ask Mystique.”

“Don’t ask that woman!” Logan shouted uselessly into the phone as Victor shouted the question at Mystique.

There was a growl and the sound of a slight scuffle before Mystique came on the line. “No you moron,” she answered. “Did you get the invitation yet?”

“Yes and I…” Logan started to yell.

“Good,” she shouted back like he wasn’t speaking. “I’ll text the details to Charles.

“…resent it like hell. You can’t meddle…”

“By the way, you need to get a cell phone. Hold on a minute.”

“…in my life like this. Don’t put me on hold!”

The line went silent for a couple of seconds when it clicked back on.

“Listen to me you scaly she-devil,” Logan shouted into the receiver.

“Oh no, Mystique had to go take care of something,” a softer, younger female voice told him. “I’m Susan. She told me to answer your questions.”

“Susan who?”

“Susan Godfrey. I’m an assistant at the PR firm working with the Brotherhood. I’m so delighted to be working with you on this. I love weddings.”

“Well I don’t!” Logan yelled. “I never agreed to this and I’m not showing up.”

“You’re calling off the wedding?” she asked, sounding heartbroken on a personal level. “But what about Kurt and the baby?”

“They’re not showing up either,” Logan growled before hanging up the phone. He huffed and then walked out of the lounge, down to the garage and made a beeline for Cyclops’s bike.

Unfortunately for him, Scott was already on it. Sitting there, looking forlorn and pathetic.

“What are you drinking?” Logan asked him, looking at the purple liquid.

“Grape Kool-Aid,” Scott said. “Yeah, we’re out of anything else. I was thinking about going to a bar, but I haven’t quite gotten that far.”

“How long you been sitting there?”

“An hour or so,” Scott replied. “Keep thinking about how Jean hated this bike.”

“Oh, that’s it. We’re going for a real drink,” Logan told him. “Get up and I’ll drive.”

Scott snorted. “My bike,” he said and then started it up. “You ride bitch.”

Logan tried glaring his way into the driver’s seat for about a minute before caving and getting on behind Scott.

***

“I miss Jean,” Scott said for the millionth time.

“I miss her too,” Logan agreed. He sipped his beer and said, “I’d sic her on Mystique if she were still here. That’d teach the witch.”

“Jean would roll her eyes and make fun of you if she was still here and she loved weddings.”

“I didn’t plan that,” Logan said, not really sure what all he was referring to – the wedding, the baby, Kurt or his life in general. “What do you think?”

“About what?” Scott asked.

“Think I should marry Kurt?”

“I like the kid,” Scott said, looking confused. “Why would I wish you on him permanently?”

“Ha, ha,” Logan said. “I’m trying to be serious. I don’t know what the hell to do.”

“Don’t get married for the baby,” Scott told him. “I’ve seen enough daytime television to know that ends badly.”

Logan grunted.

“How’d you two end up together anyway?” Scott asked him.

“Me and the elf?”

“You sleeping with anybody else?”

“No,” Logan scowled. “The first time we were drinking.”

Scott looked at him, looked down at his beer and then moved a stool away.

“You’re an idiot,” Logan told him.

“Can’t be too careful,” Scott replied. “I’m emotionally vulnerable here and you’re plying me with alcohol.”

“I’d rather screw an electric socket,” Logan told him.

“Exciting,” Scott mocked, smirking. “Does your better half know about this kink?”

Logan flicked a peanut shell at him, and smiled broadly when it ricocheted off the middle of his visor. “Anyway, it just kept happening and I like him. He’s a good guy and he’s kind of cool in a dorky sort of way. Not my usual type, though.”

“Do you love him?”

“I don’t know,” Logan grumbled. “How’d you know – with Jean?”

“Hmmm,” Scott hummed, thinking. “I think it was one of those things that just kind of snuck up on me. We dated when we were kids, but it wasn’t love at first sight. I don’t remember when I fell in love with her, but I remember when I realized it. I had been sick with the flu or something for about a week and I had just gotten my first bike – not the one we rode in on. It was a second-hand mess and when I had finally felt good enough to do some work on it, I found her in the garage trying to fix it up using a stack of books. She was in an over-sized t-shirt with paint stains and her hair was a mess. She had grease smeared all over her and right across her nose.”

“Jeanne fixed it up?”

“No, not really,” Scott smiled. “I had to redo half the stuff she did, but I remember looking at her and thinking I’d never seen anyone as beautiful in my life.”

“She was one of a kind,” Logan agreed. “Why didn’t you marry her?”

“Meant to,” Scott said. “But you know the saying – life’s what happens when you’re busy making other plans. We never got around to it, which is a shame because she loved weddings.”

Logan studied his beer. He’d never been one for making plans beyond what he could see right in front of him. He’d gotten close to marrying someone once, but never took that final step.

“I’d be an awful husband,” Logan said.

“You’d probably leave within the first month,” Scott agreed. “Sticking around’s not your strong suit.”

Something tightened uncomfortably in Logan’s gut. He’d be out on the road again right now if Scott hadn’t been sitting in his way; he wasn’t going to lie to himself. But the idea of not coming back for Kurt was like not coming back for Marie, only worse. And hell, Kurt would probably understand. He’d be hurt and alone, but he’d get Logan leaving and that idea made Logan hate himself a little.

“I’ll look out for the kid,” Scott said.

“Huh?” Logan looked over at him, but Scott was staring at the grain in the bar, tracing it with his fingers.

“The baby,” Scott replied. “I’ll look out for Kurt and the baby when you leave.”

That awful thing in Logan’s gut uncurled and grew fangs as he filled with rage and fought to keep his claws from coming out. “I’m not leaving them, you miserable son of a bitch.” Logan slammed the rest of his drink back and then stalked out of the bar. He thought about taking Scott’s bike, but he didn’t have the keys, so he knocked it over instead and started walking back to the school.

***

It was a couple of hours before dawn by the time Logan got back to the mansion. Scott, the little shit that he was, had flicked him off as he drove by him on the road hours ago. Logan vowed to himself to put something nasty in his cocoa puffs as soon as he got the chance.

He let himself into the school, quietly made his way up the stairs and towards Kurt’s room to check on him only to find the bed still made. Logan stopped off in his room, but it was equally empty. Ten later, he found Kurt curled up on the couch in the media room in front of a static filled television with a note taped to the front.

Logan clicked it off, snatched the note off the television and took in the sight before him. There was a stack of old black and white movies on the floor and on the coffee table there was what looked like the strange combination of ice cream, nachos with jalapenos and grape Kool-Aid. Kurt was still fully dressed, but his shoes had been removed and set neatly next to the bottom of the couch and a knitted blanket had been carefully tucked around him. Logan looked down at the sheet of paper.

Hey Tool,

You came back. Don’t screw it up.

P.S. Your mother-in-law was here. I’d hide if I were you.

“I’m still putting something nasty in your cereal,” Logan mumbled quietly under his breath. He deposited the note on the table in a wadded up ball and edged around the clutter until he could settle down on the edge of the couch. Logan gently eased the blanket up and nudged Kurt over a little until he had enough room to lie down next to him.

Kurt shifted and adjusted in his sleep until he was snugly curled into Logan’s chest and half-lying on top of him. Logan wrapped both arms around him and smiled when Kurt’s tail wound itself around his legs. He drifted to sleep.

When Logan opened his eyes again, he almost shouted, but managed to catch himself in time. Mystique stood staring at them with her hands on her hips and a look in her eyes that was somewhere torn between murderous rage and something else quite a bit softer.

Logan glared back at her and his arms tightened protectively around Kurt.

Mystique took her hands off her hips, stepped around the coffee table and perch on the edge of it near the end of the couch where his feet were. “I’m not as old as you, but I’m old enough,” she said, voice near a whisper. “Older than Charles.”

Logan kept quiet, wondering where this was going.

“I spent my time before Charles found me constantly hiding and on the run – from the birth parents who tried to kill me. From humans. From myself. But even afterwards when I had become Charles’s sister, I kept hiding. For a long time, I blamed Charles for it. I accused him of making me hide who I was when it was really mostly me. I didn’t allow myself to settle in. I kept any connections with everyone and everything in my life shallow. I’d leave every now and then sometimes with only a note and sometimes with nothing at all - even before I finally took off for good with Erik.”

Kurt shifted in his tight grip and Logan eased up.

“Chances to change – to allow others in and make a home – are fewer and further between than most people realize. I’m not doing this for myself,” Mystique said. “You know Kurt; you know the type of person he is. He goes to church every Sunday and watches old, romantic movies. He likes security. I couldn’t care less about good-old fashioned family values and church weddings, but he does. I’m not a good mother. I’m not a good person, but I still want him to be happy.”

Logan looked down at Kurt. He took the blue, clawed hand curled on his chest in his own, tracing the length of his fingers. “I want him to be happy too,” he admitted softly to Mystique. “I’ll think about it.”

Mystique nodded, then rose and silently left the room.

***

Logan rummaged around in the cabinets with Scott’s box of cereal neatly labeled ‘Cyclops’s’ and ‘Don’t Touch!’ in front of him and open. He found a small bottle of cayenne pepper and looked at it speculatively before sniffing it. Kurt sighed to himself and then bumped Logan to the side to dig into the back of the cabinet. He pulled out a bottle of ‘Ultra Death Hot Sauce’ and handed it to Logan with a toothy smile and a wag of his eyebrows.

“Perfect,” Logan said, smiling back and then shook the contents of the bottle into the cereal before closing the cereal back up and shaking it good.

Kurt recapped the bottle and stuffed it back into the cabinet along with the pepper. Logan curled up behind him and kissed his cheek before walking out of the kitchen and towards the dining room.

Predictably enough, Scott choked on his cocoa puffs; however he was walking as he took his first bite. Once the hot sauce hit his tongue, he stopped paying attention to what he was doing, tripped over one of the smaller student and landed on one of the older girls who screamed at being covered in breakfast cereal and lashed back at him with bolt of power that turned his skin bright orange.

Most of the other teachers rushed to their aid as the rest of the cafeteria stood up to see better and broke into laughter.

Kurt grinned around his own bite of fruit loops and looked over at Logan, expecting to see him staring at Scott and laughing. Instead he was looking at Kurt with a smile that looked almost sappy. Kurt furrowed his eyebrows and glanced behind himself before looking back at Logan who leaned towards him and kissed him firmly. They broke apart to a few catcalls, but most of the attention was still on Scott who was gulping down milk like there was no tomorrow.

The Professor wheeled over to the side of the table opposite them with an expression that managed to be both fond and furious.

“Wow. That look really runs in the family, doesn’t it?” Logan asked.

Charles huffed before smiling tightly and saying, “I imagine you should probably get use to the looks that run in this family since you’re now quite firmly apart of it. That was a bit juvenile for two people who are about to be parents.” He shook his head at the both of them and then wheeled off and into the hallway.

“Promise me your mother will never, ever come live with us?” Logan asked Kurt all of a sudden. “If she comes here, we’ll move out and get our own place?”

“I promise,” Kurt replied and then added, “Wait, what?”

Logan took Kurt’s left hand in both of his and kissed his knuckles. “And once in a while we get away from this place? Take the kid and just drive until we hit the ocean or Mexico or something?”

“You want me to go with you?” Kurt asked.

“Always,” Logan said. “I always want you with me.”


End file.
